In our world today, there is great confusion about what love is. Many people equate love with a certain expression of love. For example, an absent father buys toys for his kids, a husband lavishes diamonds on his wife because he works late a lot, or a boyfriend says if you love me you will give me the physical pleasure I want. (Yes, I realize that these are over generalizations.). These are some of the ways that we can express love depending on the relationship. But we can love people without these expressions. We can also do these things without any love at all.
There also is so much hatred between different sides of issues that we cannot even have a open, meaningful conversation with anyone with which we disagree, both in the church and outside the church.
So what is love really, biblically? How do we express love toward each other? How can we have a conversation with people with whom we disagree without it becoming a battle? Can I truly love some who is living a lifestyle that does not align with my beliefs?
The apostle Paul describes love in 1 Corinthians 13 in great detail. We hear this passage quoted many times at weddings because weddings are 2 people making a covenant to love each other for the rest of their lives. While that is an application of this passage, the fact that chapter 13 is sandwiched between 12 and 14(yes I know how to count😁), which explain how believers should treat one another, tells us that this description of love is how we should treat each other, not just a married couple.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/1co.13.4-7.NIV
I could dissect this in great detail and have a post for each one, which I may do at some point. But for now, I will make a brief point about each one.
1. Patient. I don’t think it is by accident that this comes first. We must learn to bear with each other’s faults and quirks without becoming annoyed.
2. Kind. Being authentically concerned about another person’s well being and acting to make it better demonstrates love.
3. Does not envy. Envy comes when we compare ourselves with another person or what they have and we desire to have it. We must stop the comparisons.
4. Does not boast. This is the other side of the coin from envy when we flaunt what we have or our accomplishments in order to make the other person envious.
5. Is not proud. Pride is the attitude that I am better than someone else. It is extremely difficult to love someone that you look down upon.
6. Does not dishonor others. The words we use and our tone of voice convey whether or not we are treating each other with respect. This is very lacking in our interactions with very few good examples to follow.
7. Is not self-seeking. True love does not think about how it will benefit me nor does it neglect one’s personal well being. Biblical love does what is best for all of those involved.
8. Is not easily angered. This is tied to the previous characteristic because we are most prone to anger when we do not get what we want. So we do not get mad because we are not looking out only for ourselves.
9. It keeps no record of wrongs. Forgiveness does not mean that we don’t remember the times we have been hurt, but it means that we are not keeping a tally sheet of when we are offended. When we forgive, we don’t hold the offenses against them anymore.
10. Does not delight in evil. Loving someone does not mean that we let them do what they want or are happy when they do bad things. We love our children by teaching them to avoid evil.
11. Rejoices with the truth. Sometimes the most loving thing to do is tell someone the truth in love, which means we speak with all of these characteristics of kindness and humility, etc., in place. God disciplines those he loves and we should too. Proverbs 3:12
12. Always protects. We protect the people we love physically and emotionally. We also protect their reputation by keeping confidences and not gossiping.
13. Always trusts. Love trusts not in the human being we are trying to love, but in the God who holds everything in His hands and can be trusted to work out all things for our good.
14. Always hopes. We look forward with anticipation that God is at work and optimistic about what we will become.
15. Always perseveres. We don’t give up. That doesn’t mean that we continue to subject ourselves to abuse or something, but because our hope and trust is in God, we commit to loving regardless.
16. Never fails. We can never go wrong by responding with and choosing love. We may not get our desired results in someone else, but demonstrating love to each other never fails to change us into who God wants us to be.
Renewing Our Relationships 